Misinformed, angry, coffee-addled ranting.
Those of you who have developed the enviable skills required to avoid the venomous tripe spewed forth by the Daily Mail in a constant stream of putrid right wing bigotry and misogyny will be fortunate enough not to have read the latest article by Samantha Brick, a 13 year-old internet troll disguised as a female interest journalist. You lucky bastards.
Having previously made a name for herself as the object of a nation’s hatred after writing an article entitled “Why women hate me for being beautiful”, Brick has once again bravely stepped up to the plate in her never-ending quest to stop any progress the feminist movement has made in its tracks. In her latest failed attempt to disguise herself as a journalist, Brick makes her case for why all women need to diet in order to have any form of fulfilment in their sad pathetic lives. Because why bother with all that ‘learning’ or ‘being happy’ when we all know that true self-respect comes from being thin.
In what is a direct quote from this clueless viper, Brick asserts that:
“In the workplace, male bosses will always give the top job to a woman who looks fit and in control, rather than one who looks like a bulging sack in danger of imminent cardiac arrest”
Obviously there’s no need to back this up with any form of scientific evidence, as our brave Samantha has an anecdote to back her up. She was, she says, overweight until she was 14, which of course allows her to speak on behalf of all humankind and declare that “the world pays no attention to dumpy girls”.
Now the very lovely Kerry Provenzano of kerralina.blogspot points out here that Samantha most probably suffered from lack of self-confidence. However, Kerry’s a nice person and I’m a bastard, so I reckon it’s more likely that Samantha was just a right cow. She’s not changed much.
The more I read of Brick’s hilarious antics the more convinced I am that she is nothing more than a Sacha Baron-Cohen character, an over-the-top portrayal of a deluded hack. That she writes in the ‘Femail’ section of the Daily Mail website, the area supposedly dedicated to women’s issues is just further proof that Brick’s dangerous misogynistic bullshit is in fact parody.
How else would you explain the fact that the Mail continues to publish such obviously inflammatory bollocks? Surely they wouldn’t do that just for internet hits? This is a well respected publication damn it. And there’s no way that Samantha Brick, talented writer that she is, would need to stoop to the level of writing page after page of the same regurgitated hate-filled bullshit. Of course, it couldn’t be that she is nothing more than a struggling writer trying to make a name for herself through whatever desperate, pathetic means necessary? Heavens no.
The only other thing I can think of is that someone’s found a series of articles from a women’s advice column from the 1950s and decided it would be hilarious to transpose them into the present day.
Chuckle heartily as Brick declares that women have nothing to offer but looking pretty! Guffaw as she decides that all men in the workplace are sexist shallow pigs! Howl with laughter as she tells vulnerable young women that they’re worthless unless they lose weight!
Now don’t for a moment think that I’m writing this article to ‘defend’ women. I’m nowhere near sexist enough to think that women need my help in any manner. I can’t even open jars or change a tyre. What I do take issue with is the fact that even though we live in a society that is doing its best to move towards the equality we need and deserve, publications like the Mail are willing to publish this archaic brain-fart simply to get hits. Because hits mean adverts, and adverts mean money.
And the Mail’s sexism works both ways. As well as telling women that all that matters is their appearance, they’re perpetuating the myth that this is what all men believe to be true. Brick’s husband genuinely threatens to divorce her if she puts on weight. This is not because he is the ‘typical’ man, or that he is simply ‘saying what we’re all thinking’. This is because, Samantha, he is a c**t.
However by writing this article I have, unfortunately helped aid in the longevity of the Brick character. Samantha Brick and the Daily Mail as a whole is nothing more than a desperate internet troll, deliberately making the blood of reasonable people everywhere boil with their outrageous angry typing simply for a reaction. And as we all know, the only way to deal with this is the simple rule – do not feed the trolls. They’re on a diet.